Spiritual Aftermath of South America

I have a lot going on in my heart right now, and I'm finding that sharing it one-on-one hasn't been that easy. I know some of you want to hear the stories, but I've had a lot of people ask me how my heart is or how I am spiritually or how my relationship with God is after the trip... I've not been able to answer those questions very well... so we'll try it this way. It's said that you process things differently when you write them verses speaking them. Let's give it a shot.

After returning to Boise, I find myself reliving so many of the experiences we shared in South America. My heart is moved... broken... homesick. At night, I see the faces of my new friends and family and the memories come flooding back. Yet the inner peace is overwhelming.

For me personally, God changed my heart and met me in my doubt. I arrived in South America believing I had nothing to offer, and you know what? I was right. I didn't have anything to give the people, but God did, and He used me in areas I didn't think possible... He's funny that way. He enjoyed taking a few of my weaknesses during this time and turning them into strengths and such. That kind of molding HURTS! But it was because I wasn't willing to accept, let go, and let God.

I had the opportunity to work a couple of times with the doctor that traveled with us to Paraguay; his name is Mauricio. Now, the medical field is not something I've been entirely interested in, but for some reason, I found that I became more and more eager to work with Mauricio and the families as more and more of them came through. In all, he saw almost 100 patients when he was only expecting 50. God totally came through and blessed the socks off of us and showed me that even though I hadn't a clue what I was supposed to be doing, I could still be useful.

Mauricio taught me a lot... not only about the various ailments that came in or the medicine he was dispersing (although I learn quite a bit about that stuff), but about God and about His heart for His people. I couldn't look at Maurio (as I started calling him near the end of the trip) and not see Jesus all over his face. It was one of the last days we were in Paraguay, and as usual we went out to lunch at this place that was like a supermarket, a mall, and a buffet all in one... oh yeah, there was a cinema too! Maurio sat down across the table from me and we started talking. Painfully breaking the language barrier (again) he asked me about my life, and I about his. I was about to get up when he looks at me and says something that will forever remain in my heart. "Stacyann, when I see you, you show me God... who God is." I felt so unworthy of that statement. And yes, I cried. "You will always remember this time, this place, your friends," and well, he was right. I will remember that day for the rest of my life. If I had to choose three things that impacted me the most in Paraguay... this would be the first.

Second. We were hanging out at the Paraguayan Church getting ready for Linda and Captain to teach. Captain called me to him and asked if I'd like to do house visitation. Before even thinking about what I was getting into, I said yes and off I went. I ended up partnering with two women from the Santiago Vineyard, one who knew a lot of english, another who didn't. Along with our group there was three or four other groups that went with us. We hopped on our bus and headed out into the communtiy. We were the first to get dropped off and the first to be picked up. When I got out of the bus, I immediately felt like throwing up. It smelled of... well, I don't even know, but it was bad. I blocked my mind of the smell and followed Sandra and Patti up the dirt path. We crossed a small canal on a bridge that looked like it was about to fall apart, but it didn't. On each side of the road, small homes, shacks really, and rickety fences were lined. I caught some people poking their head out their doorways, some children would peek through the fences. We would just wave. Chickens ran wild and a dog here and there would pass by. Now, here in that states, we'd ring a doorbell or at least knock on a door if we wanted someone inside the house to know we were there. But since there were no doorbells and hardly any doors, we made exceptions. Standing outside of the gate, we banged on a fence rail and yelled the woman's name (which I'm not recalling right now). A small, thin boy poked his head around the corner of the doorway just as a small woman appeared. She greeted us with enthusiasm and invited us in. Well, actually we ended up sitting in the backyard because there wasn't much room in the home. Fanny, the three year old daughter, ran to Sandra. I guess they knew each other. ;) The women had brought two gift bags full of little things that so many Americans take advantage of having, but are so valuable to the children there; crayons, paper, pencils, pencil sharpener, erasers (Fanny had never seen an eraser!)... it was so fun to watch her drawing and trying out her new treasures.

The other bag was for Fanny's niece who was the same age as her. I don't remember her name, but she had become very ill and was dying. It was some disease that was causing all the water in her body to flow to her brain. Because the family has no money for the reversal surgery, she will die very soon. It broke my heart when I heard this. I don't understand how that could even be considered okay. It could be fixed! I don't get it...

Fanny was the sweetest little girl... she had a smile that radiated to everyone around her. I totally fell head over heals with love for her. But she got sick. She got the Dengue Fever while we were there... and I don't think I've ever been so scared. Dengue kills. I went with her and her mother to see what Maurio could do. He checked her out and decided on a medication that would help reduce the fever. Problem was she didn't want to take it. It came down to her mother and I holding her down while Maurio forced it down her throat. It was either that or give her a shot, but the way she was wiggling, personally, I don't think it would have been wise. We got the medicine down her throat, but it was just the beginning of the battle. We prayed... and prayed... and prayed. Two days later, I saw her, and I wanted to cry. She was healed. God healed her. Dengue isn't something that just goes away after two days. Fanny's eleven year old brother got it and now looks like he's like eight. He's so small... the disease just drains your body. But she was healed... that's my number two.

My number three is hard to decide upon. The worship was absolutely amazing! I've never felt God so strongly as I did during those times of worship. But I'd have to say that it was the community that won my heart for Paraguay. The Chileans had such a heart for the Paraguayans and vice versa. It was so amazing to watch the prayer times and when I got to pray over someone, I felt blessed myself. I met so many people and just fell in love. And... I kinda liked the greeting process down there. I hope it rubs off on America...

Overall it was an amazing trip. I am kinda lost at this point, somewhat unsure about stuff, but I know it won't last long because I'll be back in South America among my friends very soon. I plan on finishing school then working for a while to pay off the money I owe and save up for my next trip down there. I left my heart at the boarder, so I have to go reclaim it...

Thanks for listening and thanks for your prayers... if you want to hear more... let's go out for coffee or something. Love you!

Chau! Y Dios Te Bendigo!
(Bye! And God Bless You!)